Thursday, June 18, 2009

i think my life is becoming more pathetic each day.
everything seems so to be so irritating and fuckers. i dont know
but im really not feeling so good this few days,i dont have luck
with guys i just need to be simple minded and dont think heavily
on everything. but i cant.i cant do anything im so useless and unlucky.
just me and everythings on me. seriously it does. im so tired of being
a such loser,and patient and cannot say anything to stand myself.
everything seems so FUN for everyone to push and ask me to do things,
bcos its really hard for me to complaint but wat i can do? NOTHING.!
exactly nothing.im so naive and so weak to stand by my own,or to
protect myself.i always depends on people to help me,to give me courage
to go on with this pathetic life,and this,i have to change my way of
living a life,i need to do something else,to gain something and to make
somethings better for myself,family and everyone.
i need to stop being a very concern about what people think and how
to please them. watthe hell. this kind of situation never stop
bothering me. stop thinking about wat he.she feels&thinks about me.
its just so pathetic of me. the part that i hate the most.why i bother
so much about them,they are nothing but just a drive-thru in my life.
for the worth it one,then its okey. im so stress nowdays. and everyday
in a badmood,bad things came one by one,and really pissed me off.
im annoying and bitchy why they still calling me? still need me all the
time.?? i cant understand why u gives me hope,and make me smile but
in the end u just say "dont take it something else,this is not feelings"
hey? come on,telling me not to do this,not to do that,dont go there,
dont go with him,dont forget me,and take care,where are u,why are u mad?,
why u avoiding me,why u never reply. arghh everything are dam bullshit.

maybe yes,indeed u dont have feelings for me,but then why u have to act
like u care,and then telling me u want this girl and u like her, and
u want to be with her and bla.bla.bla but in the same time,u cannot let me
go.although we're not in relationship,still i have to be with u all the
time,calling me,and never stop complaining about i go out with other guys,
and telling all the guys are bad,and telling me all the negative stuff about
what people think !! arghhh u just giving me headache.if u have someone u
like why i cant be with someone i like??!!!



F for YOU .

p/s: still no pictures to upload :)

Sunday, June 14, 2009

its a curse.

indeed. its a curse for me.

why is it everytime i like someone,it will be either he;s getting
married,or our relationship didnt last long.
is it a curse??? or its just me that is annoying and not the
type that can be a GIRLFRIEND.
i know i sound desperate,but seriously,why it happen to me?

when i heard tat he's getting married,i was damn frustrated.
and my heart said "IT HAPPEN AGAIN".

but then i think its okey,maybe sooner or later i'll be used to
it,and wont cry if i get dumped. indeed.

aa,i know ive updating much lately,its not that im not busy or
what just that,i need to release something from my mind.
i dont like to keep it to myself because nobody ought to know.

if they do,i'll be.______.

i went to one utama today. finally i went out with girls. :)
actually a girl. alice from korea. we go Jalan2 and eat at johny;s
and secret recipe and buy something for class.

it was nice.
a day to remember.

today damn exhausted seriously,super dupa exhausted.

tc
SAYONARA~

Friday, June 12, 2009

RESPECT

TELL ME ISIT TO HARD TO RESPECT OTHERS?



u can joke but there's a limit for jokes.
and iam sure that u know bcos u're an adult
already.

we respect u,so u have to do the same.

NOT,that u want people to respect u,but u dont do the same.

suddently telling people LAME,OFFENDED stuff,im very sure
even people without feelings also will get offend by u.

seriously.


and to YOU,damn i like u man. hahaha

Thursday, June 11, 2009

i pass my test. not excellent but i pass.
kinda frustrated. i wasnt 100%ready since i had migraine.

so forget about it,i shall do better next test. i wish.

today was a very exhausted day for me. i wake up at 12pm
wash my clothes and clean my room,and shower and 1pm
i went to the canteen and had my lunch until 140pm.
i rush back to room,and pack up my things for basic
cookery and i went to kitchen unfortunately,there was
nobody. damn. i went to the college lobby only then i met
my group and we went in the kitchen together.

chef song wasnt there,and chef calvin took over the class.
wahh,scary :) but it was fun,he cook pasta for us. hehe
we made tomato paste,pumpkin soup,and potato soup.
i was very slow at turnin the potato. okey *i dont know wats
the exact word . ehehe. after the class finished we have to
clean up the kitchen and those fuckers didnt clean up after the
fucking eat the food and just leave it there,i was the only
person left in the kitchen,and before ched calvin yell at me,
better i just do it,so i did. gahh damn,it was 5.something and
i had to rush go to the frenz cafe,bcos i promised mr.matt to help
him with the event. and i was late,but he was okey. and again,
i regret promising him :P bcos i was damn tired,and im not so
good in f&b skills. and i was scolded so fucking lots of times.
damn. i was fucking hungry and tired.
still tomorrow i need to go,even the day after.

so,let me tell something about this college,when i talk to the seniors,
they said this college sucks bcos they LOVES to gossip people damn much.
well,come on,get a life,its COLLEGE,an intersional. not some public
collge or wat.. i have a bestfriend,and we are quite close. and the
people in college keep on gossiping us. WE'RE not couple okey.
BESTFRIEND. get me. so people cant do anything that might get poeple's
attention because in a minute,everyone will know. and seriously KNOW!

im kinda pissed off by it, but wat to do,there's no turning back .
i just have to get thru it. indeed.

and one more thing, here, the lecturer is really2 cool,extremely cool,
but in times,their jokes is really2 hurting. and im fucking hurt sometimes,
but still they are some kind of damn cool :)

okey i talk to much. i will upload some pics later,i dont know why the hell
im too lazy recently. hahhaha

Tuesday, June 9, 2009

stupid.

now im so tense wit everything.
im not yet ready for my test,
altho me and musa study together a while ago,but we end up
talking about our life. and it was kinda intersting.
he's damn funny . haha. so after i go thru 3chapter
i still didnt gain anything,just a simple things like,
what's protein,and fats and cultural cookery. damn hard.

im currently having migrain and it pressure me lots more,
theory of food is damn hard and why i only know that we will
be having progress test tomorrow??damn you!! arghh..
i check out my schedule the progress test was suppose to be
on week8 which is another 4weeks more. mr.david is a nice
person so i cant talk bad things about him -_-.

so far,things are going steady but just lots of things to
think,and lots of stuff happening in the collge,where as
rumors spread in a minute,haha. i admit that i do love
gossips but sometimes its kinda annoying when poeple keep
on telling diff kind of stories.

also,here we party alot. seriously A LOT. but it was fun tho,
but classes :( so tired . im thankful that i stay in the hostel
so its easy for me to got back and sleep at break time,i dont
need to wake up 1hour early to get ready and walk to college,
BUT,one fuckup thing about this hostel is,a lot of insects i MEAN it.
butterflies,ants,lizards and etc.other than that everything is good.
seriously,NO CURFEWS,yes to smoke,drink,simply say no rules.

its not a huge college like other colleges,yet everything is very
cool,because we can easily get to know people here,easily get close
with seniors,hang out and everything.


i have lots more to talk about,but i couldnt find a suitable words,
i think im done for now,i need to sleep and wake up early in the morning
and study a bit (if i can) and got class at 9am and boom,
its F&B skills :((


nitenite